https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/195469425/clou-green-charge-technology-for-global-sustainability

This is a powerbank. A 82 dollar powerbank. A 2400 mAh powerbank. A powerbank that charges your phone to 80% (if your battery is small enough).

I can’t stop laughing at this. Not only is it seriously badly written (like they just took some Chinese sentences and translated them to English without even reading it), but it’s a powerbank that charges your phone between 20-80% and INCREASES the battery capacity (“the battery life can increase way into the future”).

Here are some key elements why this is fucking stupid:

  • It’s 2400 mAh

  • It’s 82 dollars

  • It should be handled in software and not hardware (like modern phones actually does these days)

  • It has a physical connector, so if you switch from an iPhone to an Android phone, you need to buy a new powerbank

  • it “boosts the number of times you can recharge your phone from about 350 – 500 to at least 900 – 1200 times”, but also “So the battery your phone will be healthy for about the first 12 months. It can still be used, but the ion capacity is not as good as it could be”… so if you buy a regular phone and use a regular charger, you can only recharge your phone 350-500 times, but later in the Kickstarter, they claim it will be healthy for the first 12 months (365 days)

  • “Denmark is one of the world’s leading nations in combating climate change” so let’s make a powerbank with lithium, aluminum, plastic, and leather, so we can combat a non-existing problem (that fast charging will destroy your battery)

  • It charges for 4 minutes, then idles for 2 minutes, because apparently THAT “technique” improves battery life, BUT you can bypass that by pressing the “on” button

  • “we found that while wireless charging is convenient for some users, the technology is not yet mature enough at this stage” or perhaps they just couldn’t charge a phone wirelessly, because of the low amperage battery? nah

So if you’re worried about your battery’s capacity is degrading because of fast charging and charging to 100%, get a 500 mA or even 1000 mA charger and use that at night. Then you can spend the remaining $80 on a great Kickstarter product.

This article originally appeared on https://www.reddit.com/r/shittykickstarters/